Duck Duck Cougar?
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
