i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
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