Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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