Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
