ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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