I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I accidentally burped into my bong.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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