and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
That reminds me...we need to get swords
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
