Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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