Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
