Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
