Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
