I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
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