It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
