There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
