I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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