so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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