She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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