we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
