She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
