Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Randomize
