I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Randomize
