But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
