In America we eat man semen.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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