i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
