I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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