walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Someone signed my nipple.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
