Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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