Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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