I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Randomize
