FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
