it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
