i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Randomize
