is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
