Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
