he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
