We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
