All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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