i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
