Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
