Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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