he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
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