if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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