i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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