At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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