please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
