Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
