did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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