Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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