My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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