if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I need to calm my uterus...
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
