in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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