You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
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